He Was No Longer The Guy I Fell In Love With (Part 14 Finale)

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He strangled me and had me up against a wall right outside my front door. He then swung me around like a rag doll and I ended up on the floor. It all happened so fast.

There I was in my favorite night dress, my hat flew off along with my wig and I laid there with my braids on show feeling so vulnerable. I was in complete shock. All  could remember was the first time my ex  put his hands on me and I laid there thinking, I either be strong and defend myself or I crumble like I did the first time which will only make him feel like he has power over me.

I got up on my feet. We stood staring at each other for a good minute and I just remember going for him, screaming for my Mum and Dad at the same time, my front door was wide open so everyone who was home could hear. I remember my Dad come rushing out to pull us apart and my Mum and Aunt came rushing down stairs.

My Mum had this look on her face as if she saw this all coming, she warned me about him for as long as I could remember so I just knew that – I told you so talk was coming. two seconds later I saw my sister bolt round the corner, forgetting I had her on the phone. Me and my ex were going back and forth and I couldn’t help but continue to go for him because I was so hurt, I didn’t understand where all this anger had come from, especially just for kicking his bag.

I remember looking in his eyes and just thinking -This is not the person I fell in love with- His look towards me was like he saw nothing but red. He looked at me like I was something on the bottom of his shoe. He looked at me like I never meant anything to him. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I had one of the biggest break downs that night after things calmed down and he left.

well, I say calmed down but really it ended with my sister dragging him back to his car with me shouting and crying down the street with a torn night gown and no wig. I called so many people that night because I still couldn’t process it all.

I asked my God Brother to pick me up and it was one of the worst things I could have done at the time. He kept telling me this was all my fault for cheating on him almost 3 years ago and that him and his girlfriend physically fight all the time so I’m just over reacting.

At this point I asked him to drop me off somewhere because I was so baffled and upset with what was coming out of his mouth. Putting the blame on me after everything I had done for him up until that point.

The next day he put pictures up on social media of all the letters I sent him while he was prison with the caption -Had to burn all the letters from my ex- and after was a clip of all the letters burnt to a crisp. He put that out there for everyone to see and I broke down.

I felt myself going back into the state I was in when “Prince Charming” cheated on me. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, came home from work and locked myself away. I couldn’t help but sit there and blame myself for everything. Thinking maybe if hadn’t cheated on him 3 years ago or maybe if I didn’t get involved while he was in prison then maybe none of this would have happened.

I remember saying to myself that God must of wanted this to happen. He’s been trying to show me that this relationship was never going to work and it took him putting his hands on me to realise.

Stay Tuned For Part 15….

 

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