I promised myself that I was going to stop allowing men to play such a big part in my life. and understand that there’s nothing a man could do for me that I couldn’t do for myself. Literally. I told myself that I was over the fight, over him, yet I was always asking around how he was and if he had moved on. I got upset some days because I hadn’t heard from him.
I wanted an apology and for him to feel bad for what he did. I kept telling myself that I needed closure and I’d never heal if I didn’t get an apology. Still to this day, nothing. A few months had gone by and I finally met a someone I’ve been asking god for, for so long. I wasn’t working at the time and he came and swooped me off my feet. Took me out, paid for everything, was such a gentleman. He didn’t care about the fact that I was jobless, after hearing what I had been through it seemed like he just wanted to care for me. There was not one fault apart from the fact that he wasn’t my type, I wasn’t as attracted to him as I wanted to be so it made things hard.
As time went on I started noticing red flags. He had this narcissistic personality. Everything was about what he wanted and what he expected of me. He had this thing about him that was so controlling and he came across very intimidating.
I remember him asking me what I wanted to do with myself and the feed back I got was – well you don’t have enough of this so I’m not sure if that is right for you- and persisted to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. He constantly told me I didn’t know how to take constrictive criticism and that I basically needed to be on near enough on his level. He was very proud and felt as if he was better than everyone else.
I’d never met someone who thought so highly of themselves and it was very off putting especially when this person is speaking to you like they gave birth to you. So after disrespecting me on such a high level after an argument we had, I decided enough was enough and cut him off. I just didn’t understand why I kept meeting such guys and wondering if id ever find the one.
Until it really hit me, I needed to focus on myself, love and take care of myself. Stop making myself so available to any and every guy. Stop being so gullible and ignoring obvious signs. It was my time..
It Is My Time…..
Thank you all for reading my story, get ready to follow this journey with me on the road through happiness and self care. I will continue to update you all on my life and give you tips on how I have managed to heal myself, Again thank you and happy reading ! x