Why You Should Go For It Even When You Have Doubts

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Being a Virgo, it’s hard for me to think positively and expect the best outcome from certain situations. I don’t like to get my hopes up and find it hard to make decisions because I’m scared i’ll get it wrong. I struggle with being patient and give up on the early signs of something not going as planned.

Now most of that I’ve been able to work on throughout the years but I still struggle from time to time. I go through these annoying stages where I’m hesitant to do something and  start going through the what if’s the buts and the maybes.

I want to give you an example. For instance around the beginning of October, I left my job. My plan was to work up until the beginning of December and take a break during Christmas. Of course I had other plans so I left a little earlier than I imagined. Around mid November I started to apply for jobs because you never know how long these processes can take.

If you don’t know already, I completed a Level 2 Apprenticeship in 2017. My apprenticeship experience was amazing and I learnt so much and completing it was a great achievement. However I said I wouldn’t do another simply because I didn’t enjoy doing coursework and sitting tests. It just isn’t for me. I was desperate at the time So I put my pride aside and applied for a level 3 and a few other jobs. I then got asked to come in for 2 interviews. One was for a Post Woman and the other a GP Receptionist. I cancelled both because I wanted to be a bit honest with myself, I knew I wouldn’t enjoy being out in the freezing cold delivering mail and after my experience working in a GP before I definitely didn’t want to put myself through that again.

I finally got a response from the Level 3 apprenticeship to say that I didn’t qualify for the role but they suggested that I went for a Level 4. Only having a Level 2 I was shocked that this was offered to me. I saw it as a blessing in disguise and went for it anyway. Days later I got an interview. Blessing In Disguise #1

Even though I was happy about the Level 4, after thinking it though I just wasn’t too sure about it. It was for a consultant company which didn’t interest me as much and since it was a Level 4, that meant 10x more coursework, tests and essays. 10x the stress and no time at all for focusing on my blog. Now I’m all for education and trying out new things I just didn’t think it was practical for me.

So after trying so hard to search for a plan B and not finding anything I was so close to giving up until my phone went off. It was one of those alerts from Indeed Jobs with suggestions of jobs I should apply for and the very first one was for a Sexual Health Administrator. Now if you know me, you’d know that I’ve wanted to work in a Sexual Health Clinic since I finished my Apprenticeship and I could never find a vacancy. Now tell me if that isn’t a blessing…Blessing In Disguise #2

Anyways I applied for it and just hoped for the best. 2 days later I received a text message to asking me to come in for an interview! so there I was with another 2 interviews. The Apprenticeship one on Monday and the Clinic on Tuesday. Blessing In Disguise #3

About a week or so before the interviews I started to go through some things, I no longer felt happy which then led me to not want to attend the interviews. I started to come up with all this nonsense in my head as to why I shouldn’t go and constantly asking myself is it even worth it. After talking to close ones about it and speaking to my pastor at church I made the decision literally the day before to just go.

Long story short I went to the Apprenticeship interview and got shortlisted to attend a formal interview on the Wednesday. On Tuesday after attending the Clinic interview they called me on that same day to offer me the job even though they said I’d hear from them on Friday. I instantly knew that this was the job for me simply because the schedule worked around me being able to blog. It’s a 30-40 minute journey depending on traffic unlike the other job which was about an hour to a hour and a half by train. Blessing In Disguise #4

I don’t start until January which still gives me time off during Christmas and most likely new years which is great. So the moral of this story is not to give up. Really think hard about what it is that you want while being realistic. You never know what God or the universe has in store for you.

Iv’e wasted so much time, overthinking and stressing about a bunch of stuff that worked it’s self out in the end. It’s just not worth it. I still struggle till this day and don’t think I’ll ever stop. It will get easier though which is why I encourage you to just have faith .

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