Many bad situations have left me to make bad decisions in my past. I put the blame on people I shouldn’t have, cut people off for the wrong reasons and made many mistakes based on how I felt. I know it’s not easy to forget, neither is it easy to move on. But we owe it to ourselves to not let this baggage weigh us down. To not let hate, regret, resentment, hurt, betrayal etc….pave way for negativity in our future.
This year I have let go of so much pain, so much hurt. Forgiven people I never thought I could have. Stopped waiting for some sort of closure and realized that there isn’t always going to be an answer for every question. Matured enough to admit when I’m wrong and have the confidence to share how I really feel even if it meant someone got hurt in the process. I no longer look for happiness in others other than myself. I have learnt that being alone isn’t always bad and have used that time to build on myself. I don’t create a timeline for when I think things should happen in my life and try my best to live in the moment. Following my recent post on social anxiety I now know what it means to value the quality of friends I have rather than the quantity. I will go on about what 2018 has taught me in a previous post but I wanted to put this out there for the time being.
If someone said to me when I was 15/16. That I would pass my driving test, Complete an Apprenticeship, Start a YouTube channel, Have the opportunity to help patients severely affected by a devastating fire, Create a Blog, Travel to Portugal on my own…..etc….I would have told you to stick all of that where the sun doesn’t shine. A lot of us don’t take the time to reflect on how far we have come and stay stuck on how far we still have to go.
It takes way too much energy to wonder why that man/woman did you so wrong. So much stress wondering why you didn’t get that job. Too much of your time fixing things that are better off broken. Just because that relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of love or you wont find better because you will. Just because you didn’t get that job or you failed that test, doesn’t mean you can’t apply for many others or retake the test. Just because you lost a bet on that house, doesn’t mean you can’t bet on another, who knows you may find something even better.
If anything we need to be turning these bad experiences into lessons. How many of you have sat there and tried to order something online that had sold out. We don’t give up do we? We find another website or look for an alternative and that’s really how we should treat life.
I got so used to carrying the baggage from the past 4/5 years which have caused me to miss out on many blessings. You don’t know how much damage you’re doing to yourself and how much you’re sacrificing by carrying all of this. As a result it has caused a lot of depression and anxiety. All of this energy can be put into things you love most, into the hobbies, the crafts that can help you establish so much more for yourself. Of course it’s easier said than done but it all starts with you. I know many people are sick of hearing the“New year new me” testimony’s but who cares. If you feel that certain things in your life need to change and you want that fresh start, new beginning, new journey THAT IS OKAY.
Make 2019 a better year for you, Set goals, spend more time with yourself, book a holiday if you need to. I couldn’t tell you how much time I’ve wasted simply because I didn’t let go and use my failures as lessons. Be thankful the minute you wake up to another day, see it as a fresh start, don’t wake up feeling bad about yesterday and make the most out of today.