Dealing With Social Anxiety (Part 2)

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Let’s be honest, it sucks to not have many friends but its better to have none than to have a bunch of people around you that couldn’t care less about you. If you read my previous post you’d know I’ve struggled when it comes to the “friendship” department. After trying so hard to keep people around you eventually give up. You create this bullet proof bubble around yourselfย  and those already close to you because you get tired of letting people in who shouldn’t be there.

I am now an extrovert with an intuitive approach. I have no problem with making conversation neither am I shy when it comes to meeting new people. I speak to people I feel are going to interact with me in a way I feel I can handle. If you get what I mean. I observe people and really take in how they speak and what they speak about before I make the decision to approach them.

Of course this isn’t a good way to go about things and you shouldn’t Judge a book by its coverย but that’s just me andย I know I’m not the only one that does this. Whilst working in many different fields I can say that I have met a lot different people, personality and ethnicity wise. This helped me so much because I was so used to hanging around the same type of people. It’s nice to speak to those that have different interests than you do, have different beliefs, have a different fashion sense and listen to different types of music.

I used to be so scared to speak to others I didn’t feel were the same as me and I mean personality wise not looks. It was like how can I get to know someone that just isn’t on the same page as me. I would get so nervous whenever someone I didn’t know spoke to me, I just couldn’t function. My words would slur, my eye contact was off and it was just an awkward encounter from beginning to end.

I was that friend who expected a call everyday. I would get angry whenever my friends didn’t check up on me or I hadn’t heard from them in a while. Every time something dramatic happened in my life for example a new boyfriend, some hot gossip etc….I had to call a friend simply because I felt that I needed to keep the friendship alive, keep the friendship interesting or I would lose them. As you grow older you start to distance your self from people. Not because you want to but because life happens and people just don’t have time anymore.

So because of this I no longer seek validation from others to gain a friendship because if it is worth it, it should flow naturally. I often keep to myself now and don’t really go out much unless I’m shopping or really need to. I’ve come to realise that I really do enjoy my own company. I don’t need someone with me every time I decide to leave my house. I used to get called weird for that back in school because large groups of friends would always go out and meet up to go on cute little shopping trips or just to hang out boy watching.

As a Virgo I’ve learnt that we don’t really need to be around a lot of people to feel popular. We could literally be in a room of 100 people and feel alone. But put us in a room with only 4 that are most closest to us and we’ll do just fine. Don’t get me wrong we do get our lonely days and wish we could fly to Ibiza with 5-10 best mates and that’s okay. For me I don’t think that beats a trip to Spain with 1 or 2 of your best friends on a journey full of excursions without the hassle of 5 other friends wanting to do something different to 2 other friends. I don’t know maybe that’s just me.

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