So, my non-existent love life….
For those of you that know me…know I’m a sucker for love. A hopeless romantic, I did almost anything for love and probably still would. I love, love. I love long-lasting relationships. I love the feeling of being in love and being able to give someone all of me. I love partnership, companionship, compassion, emotional and physical connections. I can go on but I know you get it Lol….
I haven’t had much luck when it comes to the relationship department. YET I still have high hopes and a lot of faith that I WILL find the right man for me.
However my patience has been running a little thin. It wasn’t until recently I took a big long breath and said to myself Alison you have to change. I couldn’t tell you how much relationship advice I give to others that I just don’t take in myself. A big lesson that I have learnt is that you can’t expect different when you are doing the same. You can’t expect things to change when you are repeating the same patterns.
Let’s give you all an example. I do seem to attract the same type of guys. This I tend to ignore simply because you should just give things a chance, right? So from the very first conversation I had with this guy over messaging him I noticed not 1 but 2 red flags. Being the kind-hearted person that wants to give everyone a chance, I chose to ignore these warnings. After meeting up with him for the first time there were many other red flags which again I ignored. I knew in my gut that things weren’t right but only god knows what I was trying to prove but I’ll be honest after being single for over a year I wanted to find love again. As expected, things didn’t work out.
So this is what I meant about not changing. I ignored red flags, I put up with things that I wasn’t happy with in past relationships, I gave way too many chances for things to work and a very big one for me would be ignoring my gut instinct. Let me tell you, it is very hard to stick to certain rules when you want something to work so badly and this is a habit I need to break out of. By turning a blind eye to these things it started to make me feel as if I just wasn’t ready for something serious yet.
However being “ready” has always been something that’s stopped me from doing a lot of things in life. Whenever I was asked if I was ready for something serious or ready to be apart of something I would shy away from it. I would think about being physically and mentally ready to do whatever it was and eventually by the time I finished analyzing everything, the opportunity had gone or id doubt myself so much i turned whatever it was down.
I want you guys to know that there may not be a time when you’re ready for love but it will come knocking and you’ll have to face it. Whatever you feel go with it. A lot of us block blessings upon blessings for feeling as if were not ready. If I hadn’t been cheated on and vice versa, If I wasn’t physically and mentally abused in the past, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today. If you want love let yourself receive it. If it isn’t right then that’s OKAY! There’s a lot of people who have to kiss many frogs to find their prince and others that don’t. I wish we didn’t have to experience some of the things we do but it’s all apart of getting closer to what we want, almost nothing comes easy.
If you’re getting the same results, change the record. A lot of us keep having these toxic relationships not realizing we may be the toxic one. I know this because I was very toxic at one point. Constantly dwelling on the past and comparing my current relationship to my last. It caused too much negativity. For those of you who are single but can’t seem to grasp love, maybe there’s something you need to change.
To Be Continued…….