Do You Find It Hard To Make Your Own Decisions?

I’ve been hesitant to write this post but I need to put this to rest once and for all because I cant be the only one that goes through such anxiety when it comes to making decisions big or small.

Do you find yourself getting in a pickle when it comes to making decisions?

Do you have mini anxiety attacks when something is left in your hands to deal with?

Do you get flustered when choosing paint for your bedroom?

Do you give yourself headaches when it comes to replying to a text message from Him/Her?

Do you work up a sweat choosing a juicy steak or a sweet sticky rack of ribs?

You get the drift…Lol

See the thing with me is I’ve had this problem from a very young age. I never liked to get in trouble and would get upset whenever I didn’t do something right. This resulted in me constantly asking questions, seeking validation and simply just going by what many others have told me I should do or what they would do.

Overtime I have struggled to make the some of the simplest and most life changing decisions and I’m not sure how to control my thoughts in a way where I don’t need to ask anyone what they think or if they would do this.

I mean It’s normal for us women to confide in our closest family/friends when it comes to romantic relationships right? But is it normal to ask a friend if you should take a potential job that could change your life? is it normal to ask about starting your own business which could possibly mean travelling the world and working from home? what about asking someone if you should save up to travel the world or for a car that you know you probably wont ever drive?

Are you getting where I’m going with this? I mean maybe it is just me and I am seriously messed up. But I’ve built this way of thinking where if I don’t get the “OK” from someone/anyone then I just cant proceed. Of course this isn’t with every decision I make although I must admit its a large majority.

If any of you have gone through or are going through the same thing I’d love to know what you do or have done to stop seeking such validation and just get on with it.

 

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My First Solo Trip To Portugal !

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Yes you read that CORRECT! I took my very first solo trip abroad to Portugal and I loved every minute of it. I’ll start off by saying it was much better more experience than Tenerife. The people are so welcoming and friendly. I stayed in Lagos near the Algarve where the weather wasn’t too bad to start with and got a lot better nearing the end of the week. I’ll be honest and say it did get quite cool as well as a bit windy but apart from that the weather out there is lovely. It rained once and the lowest temperature was about 17°c.
I was overly excited booking my trip but as the days got closer I couldn’t help but get more and more nervous. I’ve wanted to go away for the longest but I was unsure about the “Right Time”. For those of you waiting for that “Right Time” believe me you will be waiting FOREVER!. I had so many excuses e.g. Wanting to earn enough throughout the year and then travel next year. I remember talking to my close friends, family and work colleges about just wanting to get away, especially with everything I put myself through within the previous years. After doing some research on where to go I ended up on Lastminute.com getting more and more hyped up at the hotels, the facilities and the excursions so boom I just booked it with just about £300 in my savings.
BIG MISTAKE, I rushed into putting down a deposit on a holiday I wasn’t too sure about without doing enough research and going through other options. I continued to look and found the perfect holiday knowing I had already partially paid for another which still didn’t stop me. So I booked that and unfortunately lost my £80.00 deposit for the holiday I first booked.
How Much Did My Holiday Cost?
My Holiday cost around £350.00 Bed and Breakfast, Transfers to and back, Hotel and flights.
How Much Money Did I Spend ?
I was told to bring at least £400.00 with me (Baring in mind I was there for 4 nights) I thought this was way too much for such a short period of time and started to worry because I only planned on bringing £200 with me. I decided to only change up £250.00 and got €280.00.
Was that enough money?
I’ll be honest and say yes, if you are someone that is going somewhere to relax, unwind, wants to have nice meals by the beach, visit a few restaurants here and there then that’s absolutely fine. 100% NOT if on the other hand you’d like to go on crazy excursions like Sky Diving, Parasailing, Kayaking, Jet Skiing etc.. I partially booked to go Parasailing but unfortunately it was cancelled. I also booked to go Kayaking but the weather that day was choppy so I decided not to go. Both excursions cost €40.00 each. So yeah I saved quite a bit there Lol.
Which Hotel Did I Stay In?
Separate post for this question.
What Was The Food Like?
Separate post for this question.
Would I Go Back?
100% YES !
Pros Of Travelling Solo:
  • Your able to go at your own pace, wake up at whatever time you want and do what you need to do during the day without having to consult with whoever you’re travelling with.
  • Trips to the restaurant are a breeze. No having to wait for someone to decide what they want and you don’t have to wait for anyone else to finish eating lol.
  • It’s so peaceful not having to share a bed or your bathroom facilities.
  • You get time for yourself, to reflect, detox, de stress and tune into some good old self care.
  • I was able to take an Uber around which cost no more than £3.00 each trip which were at least 15 mins long.
  • Being able to try different foods is AMAZING !
  • Enjoying and properly taking in your surroundings, not getting angry at those in front of you for walking slow because you’re also enjoying the scenery.
  • Getting out there in the first place. Being able to actually get on that plane is a huge achievement in itself. Can’t lie I felt some slight anxiety just before entering my plane, I started to think about family and whether I really wanted to go through with it but I did and I’m so happy I did.
  • Good weather !
  • Being able to communicate with someone at home. My sister called me every single day while I was out there which made me feel 100x better.
Cons Of Travelling Solo:
  • There’s no one to take pictures of you, I mean unless you’re not shy to ask like I was then you’ll be fine Lol.
  • It can get lonely. Where I stayed was almost like a couples resort so seeing everyone with their partners was a little distracting.
  • You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. There were times where I was offered to take a taxi but I refused because I felt much safer with an Uber Driver.
  • Not many people speaking English, you do feel a bit out of place when you don’t understand what people around you are saying. (Depends on where you go of course)
  • Getting lost of course and not really having a plan for what you’re doing can ruin such an experience. It’s so important to know where your going, and having the right amount of money.

 

 

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Single women are bitter and lonely ?

So I’ve been hearing and reading tweets, posts and memes about this for the longest time and I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all
 
As much as I’d like to say I understand where some people are coming from when they mention these types of things the way it’s said and portrayed is completely wrong.
 
Let’s give you an example “On a night out with your girls a guy approaches one of your friends, you know in your gut all he wants to do is take her home for the night and pretend she never existed the next day”
 
As a friend you can’t allow that to happen so you tell him she’s not interested, she doesn’t want a drink and of course the famous line “she has a man”. In the midst of that he’s brushing you off, telling you where to go and grabbing your friend by the wrist. You have no choice but to get physical and force him off of your friend. Things then get heated and this alcohol influenced guy (same goes for the sober ones) then decides to call you out of your name, calls you the ugly friend tells you you’re lonely and that no one wants you.
 
Unfortunately for some that may be true. But for someone that has experienced this it can hit a small nerve. Everyone knows being single can be very lonely at times. What a lot of people don’t understand is that most of us are single by choice and we make certain decisions based on the fact of experience.
 
We don’t want our friends going off with that guy because we know he’s a bum not because we’re jealous and we want some attention too. Let’s be honest a club may not be the best place to meet the man of your dreams. (For those who have I envy you a little lol).
 
Single women aren’t bitter they’re just tired of the countless amount of jerks that approach them with the same nonsense. No one knows about the abusive relationship that you survived from, no one knows that you’ve finally got over a cheating scumbag.
 
Who wants to be woken up with a text asking to meet up with someone at a hotel? A Hotel meet up with the privilege of getting a ride there and back home stupid hours of the morning….how many of you have been offered that service?
 
A date out to a very expensive restaurant in exchange for what’s in between your legs… yes ladies do not be fooled by the Shard or Steak and Lobster because 9 times out of 10 he just wants to be pleasured. It’s sad that men go through such extreme measures to woo a girl just for one thing. And please I know women do this too but we’ll get on that another time.
 
Another scenario ? Of course ! Let’s not forget about the “when are you coming to see me?” types of guys I know for sure that 90% of you get asked this question which is then answered with “but I barely know you…”. They then offer to take you out and for and the hungry girls in the back of course we say yes and get taken to whichever restaurant. We’re then having a meaningful conversation to then be hit with “so, do you have a man?” not to say anything is wrong with this but if she did I doubt she’d be there. I feel not many guys enjoy the stage of getting to know a lady which is why we’re so quick to snap back and get annoyed at the fact that he isn’t asking the right questions.
 
Yes some conversations can get boring and yes the getting to know you stage can be a drag but if a lady feels she is being asked pointless questions just to get in between her legs then she has every right to tell you where the hell to stick it. It’s not being bitter it’s protecting her feelings so she’s able to continue her search for the right one. No one likes to waste time and if you’re not what she’s looking for then it’s okay for her to say no. Again she’s not bitter she just knows what she wants and it’s not you.
 
So for you bitter ladies out there don’t be offended when you politely reject him and he then suddenly grows some balls to tell you “you’re ugly anyway” because he clearly isn’t the one for you. Some guys don’t know how to take rejection well and its not up to you to change that.
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I Met LizzieLoves !!!

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YES GUYS I MET LIZZIE LOVES ! X

I finally built the courage to ask Lizzie for a girly chat. After months of feeling like my life was stuck on pause I needed someone to talk to, someone to pull me out of this quicksand. The usual chat with my best friend or one of my sisters just wasn’t enough. I needed someone in the position I want to be in, someone who has built themselves from the ground up and would understand me despite not knowing me at all.

I have been watching Lizzie for a very long while and we’ve had small conversations here and there. At first I was shocked to even get a response from someone on her level but at the same time getting to know the type of person she was, just by watching her videos I knew that she was genuinely a nice person. I was hesitant when it came to asking to meet, not because she would say no but because of her busy schedule.

I finally sent the message and within no more than 10 minutes she responded with “We can definitely meet up”. Numbers were exchanged, a date and place was set! I can’t tell you how many times I rehearsed what I was going to say or how I was going to react when I met her LOL! all I knew was I had to keep my cool, be myself and get all the answers I needed.

We decided on going to Vapiano which apparently everyone goes to, tell me why I was stepping foot in there for the first time ? I clearly live under a rock Lol. The food wasn’t too bad…I mean, I didn’t like the fact that they don’t fully cook their pasta so I kept getting hard bits stuck to my back teeth. Don’t think I’d go back to be honest….anyways…

I STILL CANT BELIEVE HOW TINY LIZZIE IS she is honestly the cutest person I have ever come across. She came bare faced, no make up and her skin was absolutely glowing ! There’s still so much I wish we spoke about but I was more than grateful.

She was very honest and so open, Can you believe I brought a notepad to write down all the answers to the questions I had for her. That went down the drain because it honestly felt as if I were speaking to a friend. It all started with my past, you know the whole relationship drama and went on to speaking about where I’m trying to go in life. I can honestly say this blog would have started next year if it wasn’t for Lizzie. She was brutally honest, told me what was what making sure she gave me the ins and outs. You know when you ask someone a question and they only tell you what they think they should tell you…..it wasn’t like that at all, everything was genuine. From her very bubbly personality to her passion for young black girls like ourselves. I felt nothing nothing but encouragement and was more than satisfied with what I had taken with me.

With Lizzie, what you see is what you get there was nothing about our short but amazing link up that I would change. You are truly an inspirational individual.

Thank you Lizzie Loves

xox

Get in touch with Lizzie:

Lizzies Youtube

Lizzies Instagram 

Lizzies Twitter

Shop Lizzie’s Jewelry 

 

 

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